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Family
Families are there to support each other, and this is no different when a loved one is abusing a substance. Unconditional love is not always the best recourse for an addict seeking recovery. It is important to know what is best for the user in the long run, and this includes any supporting family member being well or as well as can be. If you’re concerned for a relative or friend it is important to take care of yourself first.
In the grips of addiction, an addict can put severe pressure on family relationships:
- Conflict with partner, children or parents. Arguments, stress, despair.
- Money trouble: stability is gone as jobs are not held down or important bills left unpaid
- Emotional wear: continually dealing with the lies, deceit and unreliability can be draining on the family
- Theft: often money is stolen from family members to fuel an addiction
- Violence: many instances of domestic violence stem from alcohol or other substance abuse
- Infidelity: a life of escape away from the family can lead to marital ties being strained or broken
- Separation: distance is sometimes the best option for family members
- Behavioural patterns: learned behaviour however negative can be passed onto your children
While some or all of this is happening to a loved one it is important that you remain strong. From this position, you can look calmly at the best interests of the addict. The desire to proceed with ibogaine therapy must come directly from the addict. It cannot be advice from a health worker, a suggestion from a friend or a plea from a parent that starts the change. The decision must come from deep within.
The consequences of the treatment and what is required to take advantage of the window of opportunity it provides must also be fully comprehended. It can be difficult seeing a loved one going through a painful withdrawal process. This is why the pain-free detox that ibogaine treatment offers appeals to many families.
As a family member helping an addicted relative, you need to take care of yourself as yours is an important role within ibogaine therapy. The treatment provides clarity; a space within which the addict can be free to change their life. It is not a quick fix.
When in treatment, we only allow our clients access to their phone once a week, so they can focus on their treatment and digitally detox at the same time. However, we are happy to be in touch with friends and relatives as often as they wish, via phone, email or text.
It is to the family that the recovering addict is most likely to turn when back home and so close to their previous life.
It is important that you are strong and prepared for this role. At Tabula Rasa Retreat we provide ongoing support and advice for families dealing with an addict in one of our treatment programmes.
The Tabula Rasa Retreat after care programme provides the tools to grasp this opportunity and cope with the shift.