Testimonials

Transcript – Alex G. Naikan story

Q. 00:14 What lead you to Tabula Rasa Retreat to undertake Naikan Therapy?

When I went back, after my first treatment at Tabula Rasa, I was feeling positive and good. Physically good, mentally good, but I was still carrying a lot of grief from the death of my mother and the death of my boss, and… it was just kind of spinning round and round and round in my head and I started feel really vulnerable out there. I knew I had to get back to Tabula Rasa for some therapy. It was the mental stuff that was started to get me and I started to panic, and I knew I had to get back as quickly as possible. Thank God Alvaro got me in and as quickly as possible.

Q. 01:05 What was your reaction when we suggested you undertake Naikan Therapy?

I was very resistant, to be honest. I didn’t want to do it. I thought we would be locked up… well not really locked up, but isolated in my room and not allowed to look at anybody else, talk to anybody else, apart from my guides. It sounded to me like pure torture. I’m that sort of person. I’m just so resistant… if I don’t want to do anything, I’ll throw my toys out to pram, I’ll find a way to get to get out of it. But suddenly there was a little voice inside of me for once saying to me: “Alex you know you’ve been fighting your addiction for over 30/35 years. You need to start listening to some someone else for once in your life.” I was there, at the right time, with the right person. He got trough to me.

Q. 02:11 We love your analogy, tell us about it.

When I was on my own contemplating, my guide would come to me every like thirty minutes or maybe every hour. He worked me. He worked me on my grief, on my regrets, on my remorse, that I was carrying constantly and I couldn’t let go of. I was trying to do anything to kind of distract myself from those thoughts. So, I asked him if he could get me some pistachios. So, he got me some pistachios and I’m sitting there breaking the pistachios. You know you get the ones that are already cracked open, they’re easy to open. But every now and again you come across a few pistachios that are sealed and you just think: “forget that one!”. I’ll just get one that’s easy to crack open. Then I thought that is me. I’m one of those nuts that you just can’t crack open and you just toss it to the side. That’s the way I’ve treated myself my whole life. My guide Binod, he slowly, slowly cracked me open. I cried for those whole, like literally, four days and four nights.

Q. 03:26 How do you feel?

I feel like the grief… even though i still feel sad, I feel like I still feel the loss and I miss them so much, but I am feeling like they want me to live my life now. It’s time for me to get on with my life. I feel like I’ve let go of the grief, the remorse, and a full sense of freedom for the first time in my life. I’m 51 years old now. I’ve fought this disease for nearly all my life and I finally feel like I can actually go out there in the world and live life for myself and just help other people.

Q. 04:15 In what way has Naikan Helped you and how does it differ from traditional programmes you have attended?

Well I’ve been in ten rehabs throughout my life and I’ve done like six months, but I’ve never managed to be cracked open. This time, having to sit with myself, contemplate, think and cry, I discovered that I’ve got to stop punishing myself. Especially when my boss died and then the dogs died. It was so hard for me to move on for the last two and a half years. I used to just sit in the corner of the room, even when the room was full of people, with my hoodie up, closed off from everybody. Now I just feel free!

Q. 05:06 How does Naikan complement the Ibogaine process?

I think Naikan is essential. On the second day I was ready to walk away from it. You know, I was angry. All my anger, all my resentment was coming up. The Naikan… it’s so clever the way it works. It kind of works… I know the 12 steps and I’ve been in the NA for years. Even when I was using I used to go… you know… but it never… I never got it. I never got really good in it. But sitting with him [the Guide] every half an hour, I went through all my resentments with my family and my friends. Through all the hurts and the wrongs I’ve done, through all the wrongs I’ve done to me, myself. I shared with him. In that short period I went through the whole 12 steps in a way. That was my breakthrough. To anyone that does Ibogaine, I’d I would recommend to do the Naikan therapy. It’s three/four, maybe five – as many days you could do it for, the better. This is what made me feel that I can start living my life now… freely. I’m not going to forget, you know, my loved ones… I can’t forget that, but I know that if they’re looking down on me they want to see me getting on with my life. I’m ready to get on with my life now.

Q. 06:43 Naikan reflection is based on three questions, these tend to cultivate gratitude:

– What have I received from_____?
– What have I given to____?
– What troubles and difficulties have I caused to_____?

Q. 06:57 What was the most significant question for you?

I think the first question really! Because when I really had to sit there and think about it on my own, I realized all my resentments and anger towards my family and my friends and people that caused harm to me. When I really thought about it you know, they had done the best they could for me. You know, I got to that place where I actually could start looking at what they’d done for me. No one gave them a book of rules about how to raise the child. They gave what they could. When my mother died that’s when I really turned away from my family and cut myself away from them. When I was asked that question [Naikan first question] and I had to think about it… they done a lot for me. They loved me. They fed me, they looked after me, and they clothed me. You know, they protected me. It was me that turned my back and then ran away from them.

Q. 08:01 How did the exercise breaks help you through the Naikan process?

Well, when I was angry they helped me let off steam. I had about twenty minutes three times a day and used those minutes three times a day to physically get myself moving again. It was… you know, it was very important to me.

Q. 08:22 How did pranayama and Aanapana meditation help you through the Naikan process?

It made me feel calmer, more peaceful and more forgiving of myself.

Q. 08:32 What was your most significant outcome?

My life revolved around. You know, my world revolved around someone who I loved very much… the pain… his pain was my pain. I felt like I shifted, that I just shifted all that baggage that I’d been carrying for all these years.

Q. How do you feel about your future?

I feel quite emotional, but not emotionally in a bad way. It’s a sense of freedom that I can build a life for myself, even at this age. With the years I have left, I know I can go out there and create my own life now.

Q. 04:25 Any closing Thoughts?

I’m so grateful that I was offered the opportunity to do Naikan. It’s the only thing… I’ve been in therapy counselling for over 15 years, plus all the rehabs, it’s the only thing that has broken me through.

Disclaimer: Ibogaine is a potentially illegal substance (often sits in a grey area of the law), and we do not encourage or condone the use of this substance where it is against the law. However, we accept that illegal drug use occurs, and believe that offering responsible harm reduction information and solutions is imperative to keeping people safe. For that reason, we share client testimonials, post treatment with Tabula Rasa Retreat, to show that there are ‘other ways’ to tackle addiction and spiritual malaise. We consider ibogaine as a very useful ‘tool’ in the recovery toolbox. Ibogaine is a safe option, if used responsibly, and where strict safety protocols are followed.

You are safe with us.
tabularasaretreat.com
#Ibogainetreatment #ibogainetherapy #ibogatreatment #ibogatherapy #ibogaineportugal #ibogaineeurope #tabularasaretreat #tabularasa #trr #recovery #addiction #rapiddetox #getmeoffdrugs #trribogainevidsrock

Tabula Rasa Retreat has rapidly positioned itself as Europe’s premier ibogaine clinic. Located in the Alentejan region of Portugal, its clientele is mainly from the United Kingdom, Northern Europe, UAE and the USA. All treatments undergo medical vetting and are medically monitored and supervised. Our medical staff are ACLS trained. To support ibogaine treatments, expect holistic therapies such as breathwork, bodywork, massage, meditation, kundalini yoga, reiki, gong baths, drumming circles, equine assisted therapy, personal training and nutrition advice. This is further supported by 1:1 counselling and group therapy by our in-house counsellors.
For further information visit www.tabularasaretreat.com or call PT +351 965 751 649 UK +44 7961 355 530